Bella Jones left her small classroom at The Central Primary School in London, and she began her walk through Trafalger Square. Bella always admired the large lion statue, she ran her long, slender fingers over it’s smooth, lionish stone. Although Bella tried to live a normal life with her five year old Jo and twelve year old Suzie, Bella dearly missed her husband, Julian, who was off fighting in Eygpt. Suddenly there was a gust of strong wind,
sending her curly, golden hair fapping around her sad, sullen face. she began her walk home as she needed to cook dinner for Jo and Suzie. It began to rain quite hard, “Oh dear!” Bella thought and ran under a nearby tree. Suddenly there was a loud crash and the tree she was standing under fell over! Bella jumped out of the way, dropping her bag. As she bent down to pick it up she looked in her small hand mirror. Her large, hazel eyes stared back at her and in the back ground, a whole lot of..........NAZI PLANES!!! Bella let out a shrill scream and began to sprint home as fast as she could, not even bothering to pick up her bag. One or two times she tripped over her long, black dress but that didn’t bother her, she needed to see if that loopy housekeeper was looking after her darlings. Bella arrived home in five minutes. Most of the windows were smashed and the door had fallen off. Things were just as bad inside. Bella’s favourite chess board had snapped in two and her cat, Tibbles, was trying to hide under the sofa, but these things did not bother Bella. she ran down to the cellar and found Jo, Suzie and Sarah, the loopy housekeeper, huddled in a corner. Bella stretched out her long, slender arms to give Jo and Suzie a big hug. They were all alive, unhurt (almost) and back together again.
By Lucy, Year 6, 2010, Room11
Dear Lucy,
ReplyDeleteI really like the way you have hooked in the audience and it is really captivating!
P.S Nice photo!
From Morgan, Room 11
Great story lucy! I imagined feeling the lion statue just the way Bella did in your story. lots of hugs
ReplyDeleteAwesome work!
ReplyDeleteYou made it very easy for me to visualize your character's apperance. The problem/complication in your narrative was interesting and made me want to keep reading.
Keep up the terrific work!
From Loimata, Room 11
WOW,great story Lucy i could really imagine what she looked like.I hope my story is as good as yours!
ReplyDeleteFrom Jade.
COOL STORY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteIt was very interesting and it definitely hooked me in. You did a very good job describing your caracter!
FROM SAVANNAH
:P :) B)
TERRIFIC story Lucy!!!
ReplyDeleteIt was so easy to follow on to the story!!!
You had a good idea of a problem.
I also liked it on how you blended in the parts of what she looked like!!!
From Faye Room 11 Year 5 Grey Lynn Primary School
P.S This story should be published into a really book or go into the News Paper!!! It just that AWESOME!!!
Awesome story Lucy you are such an awesome writter keep it up
ReplyDelete